Leadership
Theos Ghost
“No plan survives first contact with the enemy” -Helmuth von Moltke the Elder

Seems to be a good statement to describe life after high school. That’s not to say I won’t plan, only to say my plan is in a vague form. It is outlined now, but will get clearer as I reach each landmark in my life. My ambition is to go to college, major in political science, then join the army for a limited time, learning all I can, shaping myself to succeed in life. I would like to spend four years in college. Get my bachelors, degree then while in the army, try to take college courses and get my masters. I plan to spend about eight years in the army learning and growing, once out of that, it will have been twelve years, such a long time and yet so short. I, of course, know what I would like to do after that, but it’s like hiking up a mountain that you don’t know what the other side holds. You can’t see the path until after you’re at the top. I would like to go into politics and reach a governor level position, after that, I couldn’t say. In my short life, I’ve craved opportunities to make me a better leader. Though I know I could have done a better job, I can gladly say, “I could have done worse. “As I write this essay, I am an assistant director of a school play (Thank you for Flushing my Head down the Toilet), helping plan and direct the play. Last summer I helped out in my church’s vacation bible school, working in the arts in craft department, and other years in different positions. I’ve been, the temporary senior patrol leader, when my troop went to summer camp and I don’t hesitate to say it was one of the best summer camp experiences of my Boy Scout career. At Boy Scout camp I started out a little unsure of my place as a leader, but slowly grew into it, enjoying myself along the way.

I have been faced with many leadership positions and I’ve take something from each and every one of them. I have taken everything I have learned in the boy scouts and I have and will continue to use it in all other areas in my life.



Comments

Joe Noonan
+9
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Member Since
Oct 8th, 2008
Ends abruptly, but I agree it is slightly choppy. You may want to put it into paragraphs I.E.
1. Life Ambitions
2. What I have done so far
3. Conclusion

also give examples of why it was "one of the best summer camp experiences of my Boy Scout career. "

And you may want to mentioned the play's name.

And last you may want to cite the quotes source its by Helmuth von Moltke the Elder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmuth_von_Moltke_the_El der
October,08 2008

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Comment Rating: +4
Tom
+5
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Member Since
Sep 24th, 2008
The essay sounds choppy overall. Try having someone read it out loud to you so that you get a feel for what it is like trying to read it. Also, take a look at your punctuation - you are missing a bunch.

Finally, the end comes abruptly. Maybe add some sort of conclusion?
October,08 2008

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Comment Rating: +3
Rdp38
+3
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Nov 18th, 2008
Essay sounds choppy
December,04 2008

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Comment Rating: +1
Tom
+5
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Sep 24th, 2008
Do you mind telling us what this essay is for? College admissions?
October,08 2008

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Perhocks
0
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Member Since
Aug 30th, 2009
It sounds a little disoriented and disorganized. The essay isn't flowing the way you want it to go. It sounds like it's getting cut off. Try to use good transitions throughout the whole essay, not just at the beginning and the end of paragraphs.
September,01 2009

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AZcrazee
+12
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Member Since
Oct 9th, 2008
What the heck are you trying to do with this essay?
October,09 2008

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X5d2
+6
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Member Since
Oct 9th, 2008
I hope you didn't submit this!
October,09 2008

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Comment Rating: -2
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Theos Ghost
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