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GRE Issue: Governments Must Ensure That Their Major Cities Receive The Financial Support They Need - With A Free Essay Review
"Claim: Governments Must Ensure That Their Major Cities Receive The Financial Support They Need In Order To Thrive. Reason: It Is Primarily In Cities That A Nation's Cultural Traditions Are Preserved And Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based."
The statement given states that cities should be provided with financial support in order for them to prosper ,since the cultural traditions are generated and preserved mainly in the cities. While I agree with the author that the cities should be provided with financial support, I disagree with the assumption that cities are where traditions are primarily preserved and generated. In my opinion, cultural traditions are preserved and generated mainly in the areas where most of a country’s population is present, whether villages or cities.
For example in developing countries like Pakistan and India, 70 percent of the population lives in villages. It is mainly in villages that cultural traditions such as singing of sufi songs in Pakistan, are adhered to. Cities in these countries are susceptible to outside influences, and cultural traditions are not preserved as well as in the villages. However, in developed countries such as Great Britain, where most of the population lives in the cities, cultural traditions are preserved mainly in the cities. Edinburgh, the Scottish capital, is the epitomy of Scottish culture; it is mainly in this city that cultural traditions are preserved, mainly through festivals such as the Edinburgh Summer festival, in which there is a display of the Scottish culture.
Moreover, cultural traditions are generated in the area where most of the population resides: be it villages or cities. For developed countries such as Italy, France and Great Britain, cultural traditions are preserved and generated in their main cities such as Paris, where the Louvre museum displays the French culture and tradition for art or in Milan where the love of clothes can be seen, being the birth place of fashion houses such as Armani.
To conclude, the reason given for supporting cities financially i.e places where cultural traditions are made and preserved does not apply to all countries, it depends on where the main population lies, in cities or in villages.
The central argument of your essay is reasonable, and to some extent compelling. Especially compelling is your argument that where a nation's cultural traditions are preserved depends on "where most of a country's population is present," although I suspect that there are institutes and museums in cities in Pakistan and India devoted to the task of preserving cultural traditions.
Your penultimate paragraph, to judge by its first sentence, is ostensibly devoted to the question of where cultural traditions are generated. But you seem to treat this as though it were just another version of the earlier question about where cultural traditions are preserved, as though such traditions could be both generated and preserved in the Louvre, say. You don't seem to be devoting any thought here, in other words, to the question of how traditions are generated, which would seem to be prior to the question of where they are generated. If you thought, for instance, that "movements" (artistic, literary, political, and so on) tend to happen these days in cities for one reason or another, then you might have grounds for thinking that cultural traditions are generated in the cities.
Finally, the essay does not really discuss the extent to which you agree with the original claim. You focus on the supporting reason. I'm not sure whether that is a problem or not. It's not inconceivable that someone could argue that cities ought to fend for themselves, so perhaps there is something to be said for mentioning your reasons for agreeing with the claim despite your objections to the reason offered in support of that claim. (It would make more sense to do that, if it were a question of time management, than to use up your time writing a generic conclusion).