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Statement Of Purpose - Scholarship Essay - With A Free Essay Review



Submit the KAUST Scholarship Essay. In this essay respond to the following prompt: the mission of KAUST is to advance science and technology through bold and collaborative research. It educates scientific and technological leaders, catalyzes the diversification of the Saudi economy and addresses challenges of regional and global significance, thereby serving the Kingdom, the region and the world. Explain the importance of your field in today's society. In your future research and professional career describe how you would advance diversity in science and technology benefiting the region and thus creating a global impact. Your response to this essay will help the review committee assess how well your goals fit with the mission of KAUST.

Research is the fundamental block of advancement in today’s world. Serendipity does occur and has occurred previously in scientific history but hard work, dedication and research is always needed to precede it further. I believe in hard work and it is this hard work that I intend to put in my research work at the King Abdullah University of Science and Technology.

Examining the KAUST mission, I feel that I can a play an important role in contributing to the world at large. Materials scientists and engineers are exploiting the new and amazing properties of different materials at nano-scale these days and hence playing very crucial roles in the advancement of nanotechnology. Materials are everywhere in our life and nanotechnology has already brought an revolution in the field of science and technology. Materials scientists and engineers are exploiting the new and amazing properties of the different materials at a nanoscale. As KAUST stresses on advancing the technology and exploring it further, nanomaterials tend to play a key role in all technological advancements. My interest in it is immense and I propose to further research on finding the new exciting and distinguish properties of different materials at nanoscale.

"Just as silicon transistors replaced old vacuum tube technology and enabled the electronic age, carbon nanotube devices could open a new era of electronics." -Margaret Blohm

Compared to conventional composite materials, nano-composites are far stronger, wear resistant, and possess low frictional properties. Similarly nano-electronics extract the new and amazing properties of semiconductors. Carbon nanotube devices conduct electricity better than the conventional electronic devices and also detect electrical changes with the larger degree of precision which makes it a highly responsive sensor. But still there is an enormous amount of diversity and potential in this field of technology to be filled by research and development.

Research on nanomaterials, especially nano-electronics can bring a huge boost in the economy of the Saudi Arabia and King Abdullah University of science and technology will be playing a major role to boost up the economy of the Saudi Arabia. KAUST stresses on finding the new properties of electronics with their tremendous Nanofabrication laboratory facilities and world leading professors and scientists. I want a chance to benefit from these amazing facilities and the renowned professors of the institute.

I want to be a part of King Abdullah University of Science and technology research team and contribute to the university, nation and the world at large.

______________________________________

Essay Review

The prompt gives you two specific tasks to accomplish: (1) Explain the importance of your field in today's society; and (2) Describe how you would advance diversity etc. I don't think your essay as it stands adequately accomplishes these tasks. You say there is "an enormous amount of diversity and potential in [your] field" but that is much too vague. You do tell your reader a little about the value of nano-scale materials in electronics ("carbon nanotube devices conduct electricity better than the conventional electronic devices etc.") and you also quote Margaret Blohm, but the Blohm quotation is just vague speculation (who knows what a "new era of electronics" might look like?) and your own discussion of what you anticipate in your field is very short on specific facts or conjectures. It is hard for me to get excited in general about the emergence of a highly responsive sensor. How are you going to make that sound sexy to me? And why on earth should I get excited hearing about the properties of nano-composites? To be sure, it is not your job specifically to excite your reader (and perhaps your reader will be knowledgeable enough to be thrilled by the prospect of super wear-resistant materials) but you might consider it your job to demonstrate that you are excited about this stuff, and perhaps one way to do that would be to speculate (speculate wildly if you must) about the fabulous things that engineering at the nano-scale might accomplish. Wouldn't that be one way of "explain[ing] the importance of your field in today's society."

Your response to the second of the assigned tasks is even more vague than your response to the first task. The most concrete response comes in the following sentence: "My interest in it is immense and I propose to further research on finding the new exciting and distinguish properties of different materials at nanoscale." Aside from the fact that that is a syntactical trainwreck, it doesn't really say anything about what you imagine you might do as a materials scientist or engineer, or about your motivation (beyond the banal, because ubiquitous, claim to "immense interest"). So, instead of one sentence, write several sentences; make them as specific as possible; and, preferably, when you do articulate the specific things you imagine doing or creating, try to make sure (for the sake of the essay!) that they are somehow consonant with the goals of KAUST. That is to say, you want to claim that you are interested in solving specific problems that might reasonably be considered useful in accomplishing the goals or addressing the challenges that KAUST wants to accomplish or address.

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: Arfas
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Comments
Arfas
+1

Will You please high light those mistakes which I has been made in my essay and suggest me what type of essay I should write ?
awaiting for your good response
August,05 2012

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