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As People Rely More And More On Technology To Solve Problems, The Ability Of Humans To Think For Themselves Will Surely Deteriorate. - With A Free Essay Review

"Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position."

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves might deteriorate. We are living in a world where technology has become an inevitable part of our life and we rely on it in every walk of our life. Technology has made people's life easy and complicated at the same time.

Overuse of technology in educational institutions will have a negative impact on the development of a kid's ability to think for themselves and in turn he might rely on technology instead of thinking by himself. For example, a calculator is seen in almost every household and offices. Invention of calculators has made it possible for humans to do even the simplest things in a fraction of seconds. As far as an accountant is concerned it will help him in saving his time and getting an accurate amount. Earlier days kids started to learn counting by using fingers which has helped them in many ways - in the process of learning to count, the kid also learnt the number of fingers in one hand and how to use them for counting which helped in improving his visual skills as well as the thinking power. Nowadays even for simple calculations people rely on calculators which might improve his visual skills in a minutest way but not the thinking aspect and that part of the brain which helps a kid to think won't develop properly. And to improve the thought process kids need to cultivate the habit of using their brain, otherwise the particular area will be underdeveloped and ultimately hampering the thinking ability. Also in every educational institution, the teaching has paved the way of overuse of visual aids and computers for teaching purposes. Use of visual aids might improve his visual skill, but not his thought process and his imagination. Viewing a live elephant is more informative and thought provoking than viewing it on computer screen or LCD.

Technology itself makes the people addictive to it and once they are used to it, they will no longer be able to lead a life without it. Today's children are tomorrow's asset. So instead of resorting to overuse of technology in educational institutions, children should be taught how to use his brain for thinking.


Essay Review

Your essay focuses on the use of technology in educational institutions (although you make some reference to the use of technology outside the classroom). That focus is not really justified and probably prevents you from raising important issues relevant to a discussion of the given statement.

The discussion of the impact of using a calculator is not very compelling because it makes assertions that would be difficult to justify (e.g., about the brain, or about the value of counting with fingers) and that the essay does not try to justify.

The discussion of the use of visual aids and computers for teaching seems also to rest on unsupported assertions. Why should I not think that visual aids actually help a student develop his cognitive and imaginative faculties?

The same problem can be found in the last paragraph, which gets closer, I think, to the core issue. You say that once people are used to technology, they will no longer be able to lead a life without it. Again you don't argue this point, and so give your reader no reason to believe it, but it is the sort of issue that you ought to be discussing here.

Sometimes, of course, one does have to make mere assertions, and it is okay to do so as long as the claims are reasonably qualified. (For example, instead of saying "viewing a live elephant is more informative etc." one might say "it may be that viewing a live elephant is more informative.") But primarily what you want to try to demonstrate in these essays is your ability to construct fairly rigorous arguments (i.e., claims supported by strong reasons or evidence).

Your essay is also, finally, pretty one-sided. Can you think of any arguments that might be advanced in favor of the proposition that technology complements or even helps advance our ability to think for ourselves. (It has been argued, for example, that technology frees up our time so that we can focus on newer, more interesting problems than those we once focused on.)

Best, EJ.

P.S. Please note that we ask students not to submit more than one essay per day. Please also proofread essays before submitting.
Submitted by: alrains


Thanks EJ, Will keep that in mind not to submit more than 1 essay/day. How to improve my writing?
August,01 2012


Re-wrote the whole essay. Tried my level best to write as per your instructions. Please do correct it

We are living in a world where technology has become an inevitable part of our daily life. Even though technology has made our lives easier, I strongly feel that with over use of technology to solve problems the ability of humans to think for themselves might deteriorate from time to time just like “ too much of a good thing can become bad”.
Technology has made our life easy. From the time we wake up, till we fall asleep, our life is driven by it. Actually, technology is teaching man to take short-cuts in every walk of his life. For example in earlier days we used to go to shop. But with the invention of computers and debit / credit cards, everything is at our finger tips. We can even order food just by sitting inside a room. All thanks to technology, even the food we eat is either freeze dried or fortified or made using genetic engineering. It helps us to save our time, and the enriched foods replenish our body with all sorts of vitamins and minerals needed.
Contrary, technology has its own demerits. For example, GPRS in our car or mobile will help us in getting the directions. Google has answers for almost all the questions, we don’t need books. No one has to remember the phone numbers, our mobile phones does that. We don’t have to use our brain to make calculations, calculators or mobile phones are there. Instead of human’s it’s the computer who designs buildings / bridges / roads and even garments. In place of doctors, it’s the robots or the machines which does the procedures or imaging or analyzing blood samples. In fact all our work is done by a machine and we don’t have to think how to - get the directions, dig up the answers by referring books, remember phone numbers , do the math’s, design buildings,bridges,roads, do the procedures,. It’s as if our life has been taken over by technology. All these are giving less work to our brain to think and reach a conclusion . And our brain is going to be like an unused car in a garage which won’t start properly after a long time of inactivity, hence won’t work without the help of technology and it will lead us into a dangerous situation..Hence to give out puts ,our brain needs constant inputs.
The “technology” which has made our life easy is the end result of lot of people who has used their brains and solved the problems by themselves. If we don’t use our brain, we wont be able to make more advancements in any field. Hence I believe that as people rely more and more on technology, the ability of humans to think for themselves might deteriorate.
August,01 2012

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