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To Understand The Most Important Characteristics Of A Society, One Must Study Its Major Cities - With A Free Essay Review



“Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.”

In a nation, cities spring up due to booming economic activities. The cities flourish owing to the abundance in natural resources or the proximity to trading routes. The infrastructure development and facilities complemented by the marketing prowess of major cities entice people from different regions to migrate. This brings abot a variegated society in cities. Hence, there is some amount of veracity in realizing that cities play an important role in preserving a country’s ethos.

As society is a web of social relations, an expansive network of acquaintances can be maintained in large cities. When children study in schools they mingle with those who belong to various strata of society, hence establishing better interrelations among individuals at a very young age. However, this is contradictory to the situation in rural areas where students come across colleagues of the same background only. Interdependence and cooperation are significant, yet vital elements of a society. A family cannot survive without the interdependence upon each other. At a very sophisticated level, we are reliant on doctors and nurses at the hospitals, the people who deliver our newspapers, post, courier etc., the chefs at the restaurants, our bank managers, the shopkeepers at the malls. A paramount amount of cooperation can be witnessed among these co-workers and this dominant factor is responsible for the smooth running of a city as a whole. Everything seems to be attainable at our fingertips by clicking buttons or swiping credit cards and that is why life in cities seem to be much easier and luxurious.

Moreover, like-minded individuals may be able to pursue their common interests and they can develop an understanding among themselves. They might even form concerted forums, clubs or associations. Though cities are predominantly financial hubs, it might not provide the ideal view to perceive the characteristics of a society. This is because every society has its own distinct culture. And culture refers to art, knowledge, beliefs, morals, traditions and they are acquired by a man when he is a member of a society. In the cities, as the influx of people increases, the pride that the denizens of a nation have in their culture will vouchsafe its continuity. On the other hand, the transfer of cultural heritage from one generation to another would be contained.

Most cities have a rich history attached to them. Maintaining these cultural vestiges requires an ample amount of capital. Revenues can be increased by tourism and benevolent patrons. While mores and traditions are being diluted in cities, they at times, fail to attract patrons and the artisans are often seen languishing. Hence they strive for lucrative career options.

Smaller cities, on the other hand, are contingent upon their local produce and consumption. This requires funding as well. In such places there is a threat to cultural degradation owing to the dearth of sustainable means of living.

Hence, the government must not simply concentrate on major cities in upholding the ethos of a nation.

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Essay Review

One could take several of the sentences in this essay as evidence of your ability to write a good essay, but the essay itself, unfortunately, would tend to belie that evidence, for the essay is not really coherent, at least not as a response to the given prompt. It looks to me a bit like a hybrid essay that you would like to use to respond to more than one prompt.

This essay would probably get some credit for its first paragraph, despite it being only marginally relevant, because there is a rule in the present universe that permits everyone to write marginally relevant general introductions to essays. The relevant part of your second paragraph is your claim that interdependence and cooperation are significant elements of a society. The argument of the paragraph should presumably therefore be that in order to understand interdependence and cooperation, we need to study the major cities. But I don't think your paragraph even makes that argument implicitly, whereas ideally it would make it explicitly. Even if it made the argument explicitly, however, I'm not convinced it would be a strong argument since "interdependence and cooperation" are seen, in the paragraph, as characteristics of society in general (your paragraph is really about what cities are like in general, and concludes with a statement about that topic rather than a statement about the claim in the prompt), whereas the original statement concerns the possibility that cities reveal something peculiar about the particular society to which they belong.

The next paragraph I think implicitly acknowledges this problem when it argues that cities "might not provide the ideal view to perceive the characteristics of a society" because "every society has its own distinct culture." A reader at this point would reasonably expect that the rest of this paragraph would demonstrate why studying major cities would not necessarily provide peculiar insight into the culture of a society. I'm not entirely sure what the final two sentences of the paragraph are really getting at, but I don't think they meet that reasonable expectation.

Your concluding three paragraphs talk about the need to preserve "cultural vestiges" in major and minor cities, and the role of the government in "upholding the ethos of a nation." These paragraphs might belong in a different GRE essay ("Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.") but I don't understand what they are doing here.

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: shrekpeek
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