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Teenagers' Relationship With Their Parents (Problems & Solutions)
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Every teenager has a problem. There is no doubt about it. As any parent of a teenager knows that discipline can be a difficult and confusing issue, of course a teenager also knows what good behavior is and which is the right way to comfort and make their parents happy. Discipline isnít about punishment; itís about helping people in developing responsibility. This may be one of the common problems of a teenager, in which the teenager thinks that the punishment is for something else. Here they start disobeying their parents, which creates problems.
It's really a shame on us to lie to ourselves and not to care about anything in life and consider our parents like a machine with no time to do their own business. Let's ask ourselves, Why do teenagers feel anger when their family punishes them? In other words, What is going on in the world to see that huge gap between family and their teenagers? In this essay, Iíll try to fish out some of the problems between teenagers and parents and find reasons for this bad behavior in which teenagers treat their parents and also provide some possible solutions for them.
There are a lot of reasons for the problems that happen between teenagers and parents. But the biggest ones are media and technology, where child and teenager can make their secret life; also, with technology, the internet becomes their new father and guide so that many teenagers are not close to their family and remember them only at the time of needing money. And if you ask me, I say that it's due to the adults who dive into their business and forget children and teenagers, and let them in front of that wolves' world without any vaccines (I don't mean it as a physical thing of course!!). I am not a psychologist, but I try to find resolution to the problems that grow bigger day after day.
However, something has to be done for them and I'm talking here about those who just sleep without any plan to their life and wait for fathers or mothers to supply them with money. I don't mean here to make teenagers out to be adults and ask them not to ask for any help from their parents, but what I do mean here is to help them as much as we can. Again, I say that it does not mean for them to lose their personality and become completely socialist, and to be controlled completely by their parents. I know now that many are likely surprised and their minds may say, What is he talking about? Yes, that's right, I am writing because of these bad habits in the way that teenagers treat their parents.
Besides media and technology, there are other problems too. Another great problem is the non-presence of a goal in their life. Well, itís my habit to give a strong proof or example to support my idea. And so Iíll concern myself with someone whom I know perfectly well. I can say that he looks like a happy-go-lucky man all the time. But I can say that his teenaged children are really a curse to him. His elder child always does whatever he wants to do at home without being concerned about anyone at home, and also has sleepy eyes all the time because of drugs. He still depends on his father for everything, even though he has crossed the twenty-years-of-age threshold. According to him, his father must help him for the sake of his future. But this help is not at all good for his future. In this situation, teenagers become very hard to work with, especially at this time. That is because of many factors. The first one is that teenagers need to feel free and independent, so it is good for parents to understand this situation and try to make a good relationship between them and their teenagers. This good relationship will help them to be close to their teenagers.
Another major problem is alcoholism and drugs. Many teenagers experiment with alcohol and other drugs. Adolescent problems with alcohol and other drugs are occurring at an earlier age than ever before. Children today commonly have their first alcohol-drinking experience at 12 years of age, in contrast to 13 to 14 years of age in previous generations. Each year, an estimated 4.6 million adolescents of 14 to 17 years of age have alcohol-related problems such as poor school performance, trouble with their parents, or criminal behavior and arrests. Recent research has shown that beer is now the drink of choice for many teenagers. Alcohol damages the health of teenagers as well as disturbing their behavior. Drinking and the after-effects of drinking impair concentration, learning and performance at skilled tasks, and induce irritability, hostility and aggression. A person who begins to use alcohol or other drugs at an early age is very likely to become seriously dependent on them. Alcohol abuse is a major problem for teenagers as a group, including the added possibility of moving on to other drugs such as cocaine and heroin. Alcohol and other drugs are also involved in a large portion of teenage crimes nowadays.
Also there is a health problem that teenagers face which some doctors have discovered. It's insomnia in teenagers, which is being reported with increasing frequency. Doctors acknowledge that it's a real problem for some teenagers these days, just being unable to sleep at night. What causes insomnia in teenagers? There's certainly the lifestyle that teenagers adopt, which is probably the same as it always used to be. They stay up late at night, especially on the weekend, and then are unable to get up early during the week. It's not uncommon for them to sleep at lunchtime or immediately after school, which makes the problem of not being able to sleep at night worse. They also end up sleeping most of the weekend to try and make up for all the sleep they lost during the week. It's a bit of a vicious circle. The danger is that this can become a pattern, almost like jet lag, where your cycle of sleep adjusts itself completely out of the normal context and your body tries to tell you it's time to go to sleep, when in fact it's not at all. It can take weeks for a teenager to get back into the right sleep habits and recover from insomnia. The problem is that there is never enough time in between weekends for a proper sleep pattern to be formed. Other common causes of insomnia in teenagers are anxiety and depression. It's a fact that many teenagers are having to struggle with just about everything! It can be one of most difficult times of our lives, our adolescent years. Whether it's to do with friends, family, or school, there are almost an unlimited number of reasons why a teenager could be anxious or depressed. Unavoidably, this anxiety and depression is going to lead to sleep problems.
There are other problems too, like shoplifting, abuse, peer pressure, and smoking, which should also be considered.
How do the teenagers solve their problems?
Well, it's like trying to break a really bad habit (like biting your fingernails, playing practical jokes on your sister, or jumping on your parents' bed ), but harder. Look at it this way. Is it really hard to break a habit you have been doing for the last four years?
For example, imagine you were on drugs for the past few years. Suddenly, an angel on your right shoulder comes out of a nine-year retirement. "Be a good person," he tells you. "Don't let your poor mother and father die in pain."
"Go away!" you snap. "Iím a big kid now. I don't need a prissy, little angel like you!" The angel ignores you. "Whatever! As I was saying, get off drugs!" Then, the prissy little angel disappears in a cloud of smoke. So what do you do? Do you take the angel's advise, or do you use your own worn-out brain?
Do you see what I mean? It's a tough choice, and only you and fate can decide what happens in the future. Will it still be bad-boy stuff, or will you settle down and study, work, and be one of those prissy little angels? Which one would YOU choose?
From this we can understand that itís not easy for a teenager to solve his problems. Teenagers solve their problems in any way they can. They go to friends, family, councilors, helplines, and magazines. How do teenagers solve their problems though? Well, they listen to advice from others, yet they have to choose which path to follow and who to trust. Not all advice is great advice. They also take drastic actions and spend hours listening to their parents and following their words.
What answers do teenagers get? Some answers are helpful; some are not. To receive answers, teenagers go to places were they can find help and, fortunately, the answers do solve the problems. You can receive answers from parents, friends, teachers, and helplines. Some answers from parents are:
"Just calm down"
"Ignore it and it'll go away"
"Tell it to me step-by-step"
Are these useful answers? Of course it depends on what type of problem it is. I understand that small problems can be dealt with, but what about problems like drugs, smoking and alcohol?
"What! You must stop this matter!"
"You actually did this to us?"
Haven't we taught you anything?"
Those words hurt them a lot, which makes them think that they donít have parents and no one is there to look after them. They start to create more problems than before. So parents should also know how to face and communicate with their teenaged child to not make a small problem get bigger and bigger. So in my opinion, not only should teenagers consider their parents, but also parents have to consider their children.
1. Teenagers should try to do what their parents tell them and not do what their parents dislike.
2. On the other hand, parents should also know how to react with their children in the best way.
3. Teenagers like to be free and independent in theior life, so it is good for parents to understand this situation and try to make a good relationship between them and their teen-agers.
4. Teenagers face many problems, but they are reluctant to discuss their problems with their parents; they have to learn that they canít find anyone better than their parents to discuss their problems with.
5. In case of insomnia in teenagers, it is important for them to get into a regular routine with their sleep, in the same way that anyone else does. If they can establish a habit, most of the sleep problems will disappear.
6. When teenagers need something like money, they should not steal from parents. This will make their parents act with them in an uncomfortable way. It's better to ask from them. If they refuse, the teenager has to accept that refusal, which will make the parents feel more proud of their child.
7. Parents should not forget that their children still need them and, underneath it all, care about their opinions. If parents understand and accept that some conflict is inevitable, the child would be better prepared for it.
8. Parents should not ignore experimentation with alcohol and drugs in the hope that their teenage son or daughter will somehow learn about the risks involved or outgrow his or her drug-related behavior. Parents should talk to their children about the risks of alcohol and other drug abuse, emphasizing the very serious dangers of drinking and driving and the health hazards involved.
9. Both have to try to reduce the animosity between them and start a relationship of love and respect, which I hope every teenager and parent can find.
We have seen that it's not easy for a teenager to solve his problems and that, for every problem, the same solution is not possible. The four major problems of teenagers that I have discussed here are media & technology, non-presence of a life goal, alcohol and drug abuse, and insomnia in teenagers. Moreover, I have also discussed the incorrect way in which some parents treat their teenagers when teenagers want to discuss their problems with them. So it's very important for parents to know the right way in which their teenaged children should be treated. Whatever the teenagers do, the parents should not consider them a curse to their life. Being a teenager is not something bad because it is, in my opinion, the best period of oneís life and all our good times are spent in this period.