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The Increasingly Rapid Pace Of Life Today Causes More Problems Than It Solves - With A Free Essay Review



Instructions: “Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.”

Over the last decades, it cannot be denied that life expectancy has increased in a considerable way. Although some people may believe that our life style has undoubtedly improved, I strongly believe that modern life brought us significant hurdles.

First of all, it can be said that the way our world is moving along may drop some drastic changes within human relationships. Communication, social interaction and human bonds are diminishing as years pass. As a clear example of this, people prefer having conversations and dealings using the Net or some online software rather than doing it face-to-face. As network communications expands all over the world, human contact began to worsen.

Secondly, the rapid pace of life has deteriorated our health and quality of life producing hazardous consequences. Living in such a demanding society, leads most people work almost all day for a living. This would be one of the main reasons of people dissatisfactions. As a consequence, mental illnesses such as stress, the feeling of ´burnout´, depression, and anxiety or mood disorders have appeared within the last decades. What is more, people's daily schedules are often so busy that they do not have the time to exercise and relax regularly.

On the other hand, there are those who claim that thanks to the latest medical breakthroughs and technological advances our daily life has changed for the better. For over half a century, key discoveries have changed the course of medical science: this is the case of genetics or those discoveries to prevent and reverse severe diseases as cancer, Parkinson's or AIDS.

All things considered, although it cannot be denied the fact that new technological devices have enhanced medical researches, I strongly believe that living at such a rapid pace bring us more challenges than it solves.

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Essay Review

You don't mention the "rapid pace of life" in the first two paragraphs, and it is not obvious what those paragraphs really have to do with the topic. One could argue that our adoption of new modes of communication is symptomatic of the rapid pace of life in the modern world, but you would need to actually make that argument (i.e., make the claim and then offer a reason for believing it) in order to make your reflections on the problems you address in the second paragraph relevant to completing the assigned task.

Now the same is true for your penultimate paragraph where you look at the claim that medical technology has changed life for the better. Again, it is not clear why you are talking about this topic in an essay about the pace of life. And, again, one could argue that the pace of life enables rapid technological breakthrough, but if you think that, then you should say so and explain why you think that.

So the only part of your essay as it currently stands that directly deals with the topic is the third paragraph. The claims that you make in that paragraph seem reasonable enough but I don't think they are sufficiently integrated into the argument of the essay as a whole, which I suppose is what the last paragraph articulates. Remember that you are required not only to consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true (such as the impact of the pace of life on mental health) but also to explain how such considerations shape your position. Ultimately, then, you need to more than simply state that life's "rapid pace brings us more challenges than it solves," you also should try to explain why you believe that there are more problems than benefits.

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: Paz
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Comments
Paz
+1

Thank you so much for your help!! i will write it again taking into account your opinion. thanks for the feedback!!
July,02 2012

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