Post your essay. Get expert feedback. For free.We're trying to help students improve their writing the hard way. Do you know students who want critical essay reviews from a professor of English Literature? Click like to share. Click here to sign up and post your own essay. We offer no paid services. All reviews are completely free.
GRE Argument Essay: Jazz In The City Of Monroe - With A Free Essay Review
Prompt: "The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. 'A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment.' Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument."
In the argument, the author suggests that a jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. However, additional evidence is needed to validate the conclusion.
First of all, the author needs the statistics to show how many residents are attempting to join the jazz music club in Monroe. The a jazz music club can only be profitable if people attempt to join in the club. If a survey conducted among residents in Monroe shows that residents prefer to stay at home and listen to jazz music on radio, or attend jazz festival, regardless of the fact that there are many jazz fans in the city, and this is the only jazz club, the jazz club would not be profitable. The conclusion would be invalid unless there is evidence showing that there is a large number of jazz lovers in Monroe who are inclined to join the jazz club.
Then, the author need evidence to show that the jazz club can make more money than it costs to run in order to show a jazz music club is a tremendously profitable enterprise. If the author can provide evidence demonstrating that jazz music clubs make significantly more money than they cost to run, then, the conclusion would be convincing. For instance, if there are some statistics of typical revenues of other similar jazz clubs showing that jazz clubs are indeed profitable.
Finally, another evidence needed to evulate the conclusion is that on average, how much money residents in Monroe county would like to spend on jazz entertainment, and how much they would want to spend on a jazz music club. The nationwide survey may not be applicable for Mornoe’s case, because residents in Mornoe can deviate from national norms. If statistics show that residents in Mornoe are willing to spend thousands of dollars on a local jazz music club, then, this can strengthen the conclusion. Otherwise, the conclusion is not robust.
Overall, in order to conclude that a jazz music club in Mornoe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise, subtantial evidence is needed including, people in Monroe are willing to join local jazz club, and are inclned spend money there. Further, a jazz club typcally can make significantly more money than it costs to run.
When you are asked to discuss the specific evidence that would be needed to evaluate the argument, you need to focus on the actual argument you are presented with. The argument here is that the proposed club would be successful, and that argument is based on a number of factual claims. You cannot evaluate that argument by asking for evidence that cannot exist (how many residents are attempting to join the jazz music club), since the club does not exist (it is merely proposed). But even if the club already existed, you still ought to focus on evaluating the relevance of the specific factual claims for the overall argument about the success of the club. You are not really being asked to determine whether a club would be a success in Monroe, so suggesting a survey to find out if people would go to the club and spend lots of money at it is not the right approach; and I think generally you are taking the wrong approach here. You are being asked to analyse a specific argument, and I think you should focus on the specifics of the argument. Let me offer a couple of examples to help illustrate what I mean.
Simple example: The original argument implies a link between the popularity of Jazz in Monroe and the fact that 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer. To test the veracity of that implied link, we would need evidence about the number of festival attendees who actually live in Monroe.
Slightly less simple example:
You say "if statistics show that residents in Monroe are willing to spend thousands of dollars on a local jazz music club, then, this can strengthen the conclusion." In a trivial sense, this is true, but the existence of such statistics are not mentioned in the original argument. (In any case, you cannot just call people up and ask them: Hey, are you willing to spend thousands of dollars on a local jazz club?). What you want to analyze here is the specific connection implied between the claim that nationwide jazz lovers spend $1,000 on jazz entertainment and the claim that the proposed club will be profitable. What evidence would allow you to evaluate that connection. First, you would want to know if Monroe's jazz fans are typical (with respect to, for example, age and disposable income); and, if they are, how much of the money spent on jazz entertainment is spent on clubs (as opposed to concerts or music purchases). Once you've done that, you can then ask whether that kind of expenditure would cover the costs of the club.