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GRE Issue Essay: Society Should Make Efforts To Save Endangered Species - With A Free Essay Review
Prompt: "Society should make efforts to save endangered species only if the potential extinction of those species is the result of human activities. Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position."
Society should make efforts to save endangered species, but not only those whose potential extinction is the result of human activities, but all endangered species.
In nature there exist various species, and each species has its own different features. Natural balance should be necessary for an eco-system. But because of human interference some species are becoming endangered. Pollution is increasing because of human activities which eventually affects the health of animals. Due to technological growth, there is less space for animal habitats and less space for grazing, which is the cause of potential extinction of endangered species.
But there are several other reasons of potential extinction of endangered species like environment changes, climate conditions, biological effects, and diseases. So human should make efforts to save endangered species. He should find out the causes of their potential extinction, and should take proper action according to that. Advancement is necessary but only up to that level which do not affect the other species.
If this species are lost there will be a great imbalance in the eco-system and society will be also affected by this. For example if carnivorous species are decreasing, then herbivorous species will increase and they will graze more and more and there will be less availability of food for human. Thus there will be natural imbalance which will be harmful for all.
So society should make efforts to save endangered species only if the potential extinction of those species is the result of human activities. Habitats, medical facilities, proper food should be provided for welfare of endangered speices.
There is nothing in the second paragraph relevant to the task of evaluating the policy since the latter presupposes that human activities threatens the extinction of some species. There is nothing to be gained, in other words, from trying to prove or explain what is already presupposed.
In the third paragraph you note that there are threats to species other than threats from human activities, but again that point is a presupposition of the stated policy. You then say "So humans should make efforts to save endangered species." That seems like a logical claim (especially given the "logical" marker "so"), but in truth it is just an assertion. The claim that humans "should make efforts to save endangered species" is obviously not consequent upon the fact that there are endangered species.
So your argument, your explanation of "your reasoning for the position you take," does not begin until the fourth paragraph. That's too late.
Finally, the conclusion contradicts the introduction.
Here's what you should do: Begin with a thesis that explains in brief your reasons for believing that humans should try to save endangered species; justify those reasons in subsequent paragraphs; ensure your justification includes consideration of the possible consequences of implementing the policy. Note that I'm not really saying much more here than is already said in the instructions. So the brief form of the advice is: follow the instructions.