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Memories (My College Essay)



NOTE: This essay was submitted before EssayJudge.com started to offer free reviews. For reviewed essay, click BROWSE ALL. To submit an essay for review, click SIGN UP.

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ESSAY

The dictionary defines memory as the mental capacity or faculty of retaining and reviving facts, events, and impressions, or of recalling or recognizing previous experiences. However, the dictionary does not reveal the wondrous and downright horrifying things about memory. Memory is my ally, but a fickle one. I believe memory serves as a funnel to the past, except this funnel faces the opposite direction. My past moments are poured into the smaller end, causing most of my memories to be lost. Actually a person, on average, can only recollect about 98% of their past. Yet, I am thankful for what I can recall.

My childhood is but a fog, filled with memories like my first absence from school in the first grade or my first caught Pokťmon on my Red Version. As I travel down the metaphoric road of my memory, I see myself going to middle school for the first time and getting my first A there. If I were to lose this measly 2%, I would lose myself entirely. There are those whose memories are brutally taken away from them. I believe this culprit to be my arch nemesis, the Joker to my Batman, and I believe I was put on this earth to defeat this evildoer.

Enough about percentages and definitions, I would much rather talk about my idol, my grandpa. My grandpa was a very honorable man that did very honorable deeds. He was a Colonel in the US Army and a Green Beret to boot. He fought for my freedom and my nationís freedom. However, his honorable deeds did not stop on the battlefield but also followed him home. My grandpa raised my father, who in turn raised me. I never experienced anger or disappointment from my grandfather, only pride, pride in my accomplishments. He always had a smile when I needed it most, and always had a bald head for me to pat. My grandpa was a pure man, free of any prejudice or malicious thoughts. He is a hero in every sense.

I recall the most influential visit with my grandpa. It was the winter break of Junior year, and all was well. I had just finished an excruciating yet rewarding year of school and extra-curricular activities and my end-of-the-calendar-year break was upon me. The plan was to escape California and visit my dadís family, including my grandfather, in Texas. When I arrived I was greeted with open arms ready to embrace me and give me a sense of home. However, the only event I could think about was the inevitable visit with my grandfather. I wanted to hear his wise words and his stories from his memories. He was going to give me a reason to smile and the motivation to persevere through another year. Sadly this was not to be. This visit was different from any other visit, not just because my life changed from it, but also because it is the most important memory I will ever carry with me.

Sitting down across the room from my grandpa, knowing I would not hear any stories or conjure up a legitimate smile this visit, I did the only thing I could do, cry on the inside. The Joker had attacked my grandfather, and the Joker hit him hard. The Joker did not show any mercy, he took my grandfatherís smile, his kindness, and his memories, but most of all he took my grandfather from me. The Joker had turned me into Batman. Because of this, I realized what I wanted to do in life, defeat the menace that took so much from me. My life, a life filled with so many memories just like my grandfatherís life, became dedicated to the neurosciences and medicine. I plan on using my talents and brain to cure other peopleís brains. I plan on defeating The Joker not only for my sake or my grandfatherís, but for everyone who will ever do battle with the Joker. I plan on defeating Alzheimerís.

(I accept all constructive criticism. Everybody's feedback matters to me, Thank you in advance.)

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Note: The above essay was submitted before EssayJudge.com began offering free essay reviews. The essay has, however, been edited. Comments below may be obsolete.
Submitted by: Gloce
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Comments
Blaze2591
+1

Kool dude.........very informational..good job, how long did take you to write this essay?
September,27 2009

Rate Comment:
Jrinehart3211
+1

Wow i really like all of the analogies and like wow just everything. this is very powerful. Im assuming you are going into the med field. This was really captivating. Bravo.
September,28 2009

Rate Comment:
Marly
+1

This is a well writting paper you did a good job. i hope you got a A for it. if you do not get a A she is crazy.
October,08 2009

Rate Comment:
NiallD19
+1

I correct English Leaving Certificate in Ireland. This is a very well written essay in terms of language but it has got flaws. You jump between the impersonal and personal too much. For example, the opening lines are based on statistics and percentages, while the next paragraph suddenly switches to very personal issues. An essay should be one or the other, preferably personal.
When you talk about visiting your grandpa, you effectively began to build up to a climax, speaking about people you met, how you wanted to hear about your grandpa's stories. However, the climax never came, and the reader is left wondering what had happened to him. Although this can be effective in some circumstances, it was not here. You should have mentioned at that point that your grandpa had acquired alzheimers.
Finally, i did not like the use of the metaphor of the Joker. You cannot be certain that an examiner will be able to identify with this comparison. The last paragraph was very well written but I feel that the word Joker should have been replaced with Alzheimers. This would have been very clever use of personifcation.
A well written essay, I would give it a B.
October,18 2009

Rate Comment:
Egarcia162
+2

What NaillD19 said about the joker metaphor is vaild, it is not that clear. Also try to change up the intro. Not to be offensive but the "According to Webster's dictionary", and any spin offs of that are over used and not memorable. Try to think of something more unique! But other than that it was a good essay,good luck!
October,21 2009

Rate Comment:
Ric3189
+1

This shows a sense of organization and critical thinking, fix the intro a little bit and the rest is perfect.
November,03 2009

Rate Comment:
Mohammad Basheer
+1

Its a good one. But i dont like a person writing about his personal experiences alot. I usually write my personal experiences without considerin them as mine. This gives the essay more beauty.
November,30 2009

Rate Comment:
NiallD19
+1

I disagree Mohammad. I believe personal essays are the most enjoyable to read. It makes an essay unique.
December,01 2009

Rate Comment:
Hroberson30
+1

Nice essay.. Very informational. Essay is well written and organized.
December,08 2009

Rate Comment:
Bobzkartel
+1

Liked it alot... Loved the way you've worded things and put your heart into it.
February,23 2010

Rate Comment:
Elidavis2001
+1

Every great essay is written with the heart. Well written and organized in terms of sentence structure and sentence flow. GREAT JOB~!
February,21 2011

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