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Bottled Water Versus Tap Water - With A Free Essay Review



M. G. Garcia 1; J. Staley; Writing 2; 06/ 11/13

Bottled water versus tap water which is better for our health? Is what many of us asked. We have a fascination with bottled water. Somehow, somewhere, someone decided the tap water was not good enough for us, and along came the obsession that water bottled was better for us. Most of us would agree that the argument for drinking bottled water is basically the taste and there are those who believed that bottled water provides a more safe way to consume the water we need. How us consumers make a safe decision in which water to drink with all the controversy there is about which is better?

The argument is not about top versus bottled, but which one is better for us when it comes to our health, are companies really telling us the truth about what’s in it? There was a test done in 1999 by the Natural Resources Defense Council, they use more than 1,000 bottles of 103 different brands, their findings were that at least one of a third of the brands contained some bacteria or chemical contaminants. Jemmott M Janet February 2008. Since that allegation, no major modifications have been made, so the risk is probably still there.

Companies are alarming consumers about how bad tap water is contaminated, and dirty, and these companies themselves are using tap water in their bottling process, they also allege that they use 80% of recycling water bottles but they are only using 30%.

We as consumers need to make sure which companies really use recycling bottles so they do not end up in landfills. According to the Band the Bottle website, plastic bottles contain a chemical that causes depression and dizziness called antimony, large doses of this chemical can lead to death. Tannenbaum, Kiri Feb. 13 2012.

The Drinking Water Inspectors stated that tap water is as good as bottled water and that actually tap water is fresher than bottle because many companies keep their bottles in shelves for years, so when consumers by them water bottles are not as fresh as we think, and we by them because we assume is pure and healthier than ordinary tap water.

Here are some of the pros and cons for bottled water vs. tap water. Obviously a difference in the taste of the two, tap water is not nearly as good as bottled water. According to Dr. Sarah Janssen, of the Natural Resources Defense in San Francisco, bottled water isn’t any safer or pure than what comes out of the tap, in fact is less well-regulated, tap water is also less expensive and more convenient as well. Tap water is federally regulated and often screened for danger pollution. Of course tap water has its own cons. Some water is carried in lead pipes from utilities companies to our homes, which mean lead, can escape from pipes into the water. In some areas, tap water may contain added fluoride, which helps prevent tooth decay and cavities. Most bottled water manufactures in the United States either add fluoride to their product or provide a fluoride bottled water product. The Food and Drug Administration does not require bottled water manufactures to list the fluoride content on the label. Jemmott M Janet, February 20008. The discovery of bad chemicals in bottle and tap water has consumers confuse there is nothing less appealing than metal flavored tap water or plastic tasting bottle water. Most bottled water is really purified tap water and therefore contains equal or lower levels of contaminants as tap water. Bannet Andrea March 2011. The debate weather bottled water is safer than tap water for drinking purposes is still ongoing even with all the safety procedures in place, both tap and bottled water have had their fair share of bad reputation. Even if tap water looks and taste bad it probably poses no immediate health risk, bottled water is usually just purified tap water from which the manufacturer has simply removed off the taste and colors.

In conclusion tap or bottled? All we know is that we all need water to survive and we are desperately looking for what is best for us, we do not drink sufficient water a it is, and with all this confusion often results in putting people off drinking completely top or bottled. Whether you choose bottled water because it is convenient and taste better, or tap water because it is better for the environment and it is also cheaper it’s up to the individual to decide what they believe is best for them base on how much they care to know about water.

http://www.delish.com/food/recalls-reviews/ban-on-bottled-water-causes-controversy

http://www.rd.com/health/rethink-what-you-drink/

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ESSAY REVIEW

The essay is not very well organized, but in my view suffers most from not really having an argument to defend. You begin with a question (a poorly worded question, which needs revision) that is never clearly answered. The essay seems to be focused at the outset on this specific question of whether bottled water or tap water is better for our health. The question is posed again (and poorly worded again) at the end of the first paragraph. And you essentially repeat the question in the beginning of the second paragraph (note that this sentence has a comma splice, and so should be split into two separate sentences).

But the essay is not entirely focused on that question. You spend one part of one paragraph talking about the possible dangers of bottled water, and then one short paragraph on the alleged dangers of tap water, before moving on in the next paragraph to talking about the problem of recycling. Then you return to the question of safety for another short paragraph, before moving on to a long paragraph about the "pros and cons" generally of each type of water. Your final paragraph then begins with a general form of your original question (again poorly worded; "In conclusion tap or bottled?" is not a complete sentence) before giving up and leaving it up to the reader to decide "base[d] on how much they care to know about water." You should probably assume that your reader will have cared to know about water to such an extent that she has gone to the trouble of reading your essay on the subject, and may therefore be disappointed that the essay itself seems to admit that it doesn't provide enough knowledge on the matter for one to make a decision.

The essay, then, lacks argumentative drive, is poorly organized, and comes to a fairly weak conclusion. That's the bad news. The good news is that each of those problems is really rather easy to solve.

First, instead of beginning with a question that you don't intend to answer, begin with a thesis (an arguable claim) the truth of which you intend to prove. Even a banal thesis would give your essay a clear purpose: "it is a mistake to buy bottled water because it is not better for your health than tap water and it is bad for the environment and for one's wallet."

Second, prove your thesis methodically, devote one paragraph to each distinct reason you have for thinking consuming bottled water is a bad idea. You can devote a paragraph to the upside of bottled water as well, of course (it tends to be cold and convenient) as long as you explain that you think the benefits of tap water are more compelling overall. If you do that, and you throw a few neat transitions between paragraphs, then the essay will be well organized and coherent.

So, doing those two things will go a long way towards dramatically improving the essay.

Finally, however, it is worth noting that the writing itself is a bit sloppy; there are numerous comma splices, typographical errors, missing words, misspellings, incomplete sentences, and so on. Write complete sentences, learn about comma splices and how to avoid them from your grammar book, and proofread (that should be worth at least an additional half a grade point).

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: lolabunny
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