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The Luxuries And Conveniences Of Contemporary Life Prevent People From Developing Into Truly Strong And Independent Individuals - With A Free Essay Review
Prompt: “The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.”
I do not agree with the claim because the statement is generalized for everyone here. Everthing in this world becomes either positive or negative depending on how people use it. Similarly people using the luxuries and conveniences they have does not prevent them from developing into strong and independent individuals; it depends on the extent to which they use those conveniences and luxuries.
As per the claim, people do get used to living with luxuries and conveniences they have. But those conveniences don’t prevent them from being strong or independent. For example, say, employees of a company go to office every day by the cab that picks them up at door step and drops in the office. Although they make use of this convenience, they also know how to live without it. When they go for shopping, when they miss their cab or for some reason cab is not avalaible some day or when they travel from one place to another they go straight to bus stop or train station and go where they want to go. Another example would be online ticket booking services. Most of the people book travel/movie tickets online these days. This doesn't mean that they do not know how to book tickets by standing in a queue in train station or airport or theatre bus stop.
In addition, with the increasing crime rate in any society over the world, people have to be really careful. Almost every induvidual has this thought in his/her mind every moment as it developed even without one's consciousness by reading, seeing or hearing about crimes that happen around us. This makes every one to develop into strong and independent individuals these days in order to handle the situations when they become victims of some crime. This happens in many induviduals even without them realizing it. So people are strong and independent these days and luxuries and conveniences do not play any role in preventing them from being so.
In sum, the claim cannot be generalized and applied to every induvidual as it depends on the extent to which people depend on their luxuries and conveniences. If a person uses the conveniences and always depend on it to the extent that he/she cannot live without them, then this statement can be applied to inviduals of that kind. Otherwise every one is developing into strong and independent individuals which has become mandatory to survive in the present world.
I don’t really understand that point that you want to make with the examples you use (getting a cab, online booking) to illustrate your first argument. It’s not clear, and your essay doesn’t clarify, why you relate “developing into truly strong and independent individuals” to an ability to catch a train or get in a queue, so even if I agree that people who get cabs could also, if it came down to it, catch a train, I don’t see how my agreement would affect my position on the original statement. If you think it should affect my position, then you ought to explain why it should do so in your essay. Generally, it is not a good idea to rely on examples to carry the weight of the argument. You need to articulate abstract reasons and then use examples as an illustration. Note the difference between the following two elements of argument ( You need to work on part 1) :
1. Abstract argument: A good measure of one’s independence is not the extent to which one uses modern conveniences, but the extent to which one could cope in the case of their absence. There’s no reason to think that just because someone takes advantage of certain conveniences, they could not achieve their ends if those conveniences were taken away.
2. Illustrative example:
For example, if a man cannot catch a cab, he is likely still to have the ability to catch a train, or find some other means of accomplishing his end. Therefore, the fact that he uses a cab every day to get to his office does not mean he is not strong or independent.”
Your second argument, that people learn to be strong and independent in order to be prepared for the possibility of becoming victims of crime could also benefit from being put in a more general or abstract form. The paragraph (“In addition, etc.”) demonstrates implicitly that you’ve understood why someone might think that luxuries and conveniences might interfere with the development of strength and independence; they shield us from having to deal with the difficult things in life (like climbing stairs or reading a map or, increasingly these days, even pressing a button). Your argument seems to be that, even though that may be true, there are plenty of problems left in the world that we need to be prepared to handle and do in fact prepare ourselves to handle. That’s a reasonable argument, but you need to make it explicitly. So, again, make the general argument first, and then use the example (preparing to be mugged, say) as an illustration.