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Online Education Vs.Traditional Education - With A Free Essay Review
Online Education Vs. Traditional Education; University Of Phoenix; Composition One; B. White
While Online Education and Traditional Education have similar curriculum, they differ in flexibility, tuition, and being a visual learner to those who are not. There are similarities in the both and that is no matter which one you would choose whether it be online education or traditional education you are achieving your goals that you have set for yourself. While having Online Education, there is more flexibility than traditional classroom because you can do your coursework any time of the day or night without having a set schedule when you have to do your coursework. There are so many people that are choosing to further their education by taking online courses instead of traditional classroom because of their busy work schedules. Professors teaching online education have set hours that they are on to answer any questions that you may have just like they do in a traditional classroom
With cost of tuition on the rise it is still cheaper to furthering your education by taking online courses than traditional classroom setting because of the cost of fuel having to commute back and forth. The cost of books is cheaper because you can use the e books that they have to offer online which is a lot cheaper than having to purchase the books. Not having to purchase your meal tickets saves a lot of money also these things all add up and I believe that this is why people does not further their education because they worry a lot about their finances and working around their busy schedules. There is a lot of benefits to having an online education just like traditional education. There is so many resources available while taking online courses just like traditional education. There is easy access to financial aid while taking online education just like traditional education and they will answer any questions that you may have. The cost of tuition is cheaper when taking online courses because of the cost of fuel, books, and meals. While in a classroom the cost of fuel is expensive having to drive to and from and when having to buy books that can get a little costly also just like having to buy your meal tickets so that you can eat lunch. The nice thing about getting an online education is that you do not have to drive to go to classes which can be costly. With taking online courses you can use the e books which is a lot cheaper than in a traditional classroom setting.
The benefits of having Online Education is the flexibility compared to Traditional Education and the cost is cheaper taking online courses than being in a traditional classroom.
Your first paragraph should introduce the topic, identify the relevant issues, and articulate a thesis. You introduce the topic, and identify one or two relevant issues, but do not articulate a thesis, and instead move on, in the same paragraph, to explaining one difference between online and traditional education (flexibility with respect to completing coursework) and one similarity (online professors also have something like office hours). So, the first two sentences and the fourth sentence belong in an introduction. The third and last sentence do not. And, again, you need a thesis in the introduction, preferably something specific and arguable -- something like: “Online education is typically a waste of time and money for students because although it offers greater flexibility and sometimes cheaper prices than traditional schools, the quality of education itself is typically poor, the degree or diploma that one earns at the end of the program is typically not respected by prospective employers, and students end up with nothing to show for the efforts beyond a heap of debt they are in no position to repay.”
That’s an example of what a thesis looks like, but it’s not a very good thesis, of course, because it treats online education as a homogeneous entity, which it is not. There are certainly diploma mills (I’m not saying Phoenix is necessarily one of these) that are designed principally to funnel money from the government to a private corporations (the online “educational” institution) by getting students to acquire debt, but there are also sites that have an educational focus that do not issue diplomas, are non-profit, but allow students to actually learn something (e.g., KhanAcademy.org and perhaps even EssayJudge.com); moreover, many respectable, traditional universities also now have a strong online presence and hire professors who are actually qualified to teach (go figure!). One of the other problems with the thesis above, then, is that it fails to recognize that online education is still in its infancy and the nature and scope of online education is changing all the time.
Of course a thesis that is not very good is quite a bit better than a thesis that is non-existent. I would advise you, then, to make sure that you have something that looks like a thesis. (Again a thesis makes a claim, a non-obvious, arguable claim, which is the kind of claim about which reasonable people might disagree.) Put that thesis in the introduction. Spend the rest of the essay proving the claim, step by step, reason by reason, paragraph by paragraph. And Bob’s your uncle.
At present, your essay is a repetitive and largely uncritical list of similarities and differences between online education and traditional education. Creating a thesis that you intend to defend in your essay will go a long way towards solving the problem of the essay lacking a critical purpose. The problem of repetition is, of course, much easier to solve; just make your claims once. You mention the cost of commuting to school, for example, four times. That’s pointless repetition of a claim that can be made in a single sentence. Instead of repeating the claim to make up the word count, elaborate on the point. Do some research, for example, to find out how many students commute to school and what it might actually cost them in fuel. Acknowledge that many students do not commute, but note that for some the only alternative to a lengthy and expensive commute is online education. Conclude that online education might therefore be a good option for those living in areas remote from traditional schools (as long as they are not just throwing borrowed money at morally bankrupt diploma mills).
Then, when you are finished revising the essay, recognize that one of the reasons that you came to EssayJudge.com is that you are perhaps not getting the feedback that you need from your online school. Dropping out and going to a community college (very cheap!) and then transferring to a traditional university may be an option worth considering.
P.S., I’ve removed your instructor’s elliptical comments because they were misleading with respect to the question of “academic tone” and the purpose of transitions and conclusions.
P.P.S., We do not give much feedback on language issues here (it’s not what we do), but if you are not getting such feedback from your instructor, you will need to find a way to address errors in the grammar and the syntax of your writing; they have a significant impact on the intelligibility of your writing (this is especially the case, in the current essay, in the first two sentences). Purdue University (which is a real university and a good university) has an online writing lab that allows students to undertake their own study of grammar, mechanics, punctuation, and so on. It’s called Purdue OWL. Here’s the url, which you will need to cut and paste into your browser’s address bar: