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A Nation Should Require All Of Its Students To Study The Same National Curriculum Until They Enter College - With A Free Essay Review
A nation has distinct settlements in different areas and hence there varies there level of understanding, also the present students are the future of a nation and hence have to acquire the best knowledge required for the better future.
In this case, I would correct the recommendation as a nation should require all the students to study the same national curriculum but with some flexibility.
This can be better explained better with the example, many students have to change there school from time to time because of transfer of parents who are in civil services so they have to face problem to adjust with new curriculum every time they change school.
This also puts me in mind the fact that, this is the time of competition where every student have to work hard to win his laurels and his efforts will be successful only when the will be able to stand equal to the students from different parts this is possible only with the same currculum.
On the other hand, we cannot turn our face against the fact from recent study in India that, 40% of poor students from village have the low understanding and they do not be understand the difficult curriculum which is designed for students for with high level of understanding.
In this scenario, it is really necessary to redesign the cirriculum for the students and the facilities available. here the word facility signifies the presence of better teachers and study material which most of the times are unavailable in a village.
So, with above well balanced examples I would end the essay that the common curriculum bids fair but with flexibility.
Let’s begin with your third paragraph, where the essay’s argument begins. You say that your thesis “can be ... explained ... with [an] example.” What you offer is not so much an example as it is a claim. You point out that some students need to change school “from time to time” which can be difficult if it means adjusting to a new curriculum. That’s a reasonable claim, but it should be articulated in a way that is more directly responsive to the statement you are evaluating. It is also generally better (clearer and more persuasive) to articulate the positive side of your argument (“Having a national curriculum is a good idea because ...”). Likewise, in your next paragraph, you argument is again articulated in circumambulatory fashion. So, again, be direct: Having a national curriculum would be advantageous because it would allow for a fair assessment of the abilities of every student. Assessment would be fair because every student would be tested on same material. Having fair assessment is important because students compete for college places and for jobs. Etc.
The next argument, against the national curriculum, seems incomplete to me. It is unclear why you think the problem of “low understanding” (which is a very imprecise phrase) should be addressed by “redesign[ing] the curriculum” (which is also imprecise -- how would you have it redesigned?) and not, say, by improving the quality of education. If your argument is that improving the quality of education is not feasible in some cases, and compromises must be made, then that point needs to be made clearly.
The final sentence is opaque. Also, don’t refer to your own examples as “well balanced”; that can annoy some readers who will want to decide the quality of the writing themselves.