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People's Behavior Is Largely Determined By Forces Not Of Their Own Making - With A Free Essay Review



Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

I think people’s behavior is not only affected by forces but also of their own making. People are made of many individuals. These individuals cannot be the same because they come from different families with different ethnicity and teachings. They some time come from a different country, so their back ground can be totally different in terms of what they believe in, what they follow, what means respect to them or what offends them. So every of these individuals may make different decisions when they face forces. They may choose to adopt themselves or to keep their own makings.

For example, I come from a country in which shaking hands with opposite sex is not common at all. It is disdainful when an opposite gender offers to shake hands, adversely in United States it is respectful to shake hands when you first meet a person. Now imagine me immigrating to the states to live my life. First day I came with my husband to his school and his professor tried to shake hand with me and I was so offended, but he explained the fact that he wanted to be respectful and I felt better. Coming across this problem and being able to handle it by explaining the reason why I don’t shake hand with them make me feel so confident. However, this was my reaction to this happening, not every body with the same background do the same thing. I have friends in here that they adopt themselves with this social force of hand shaking in here and they do the same thing to be as similar as possible to Americans. Their logic is to make their life easier while I have not scarified my own opinion for others. Instead I explain the difference and I did not find it too hard. So even two individuals may behave very different when they come across same problem.

Other example that comes to my mind that support my idea is that in Turkey wedding is a big thing. So every one has to have a big ceremony and invite lots of guest and spend a lot of money, However some people does not have sufficient money to do so. My Turkish friend, Samar has been married for three years already and she is going back to Turkey to have her wedding after long life together. They even have a baby. She is not happy about it and what she is going through is only because she let the forces to determine her behavior although she does not care for the big wedding. This behavior is only because she does not want to face people’s complaints and criticism. At the same time there are Turkish couples that do not care about what others think and say about them. They only think of their own happiness. So they behave the way they want.

To sum it up, I don’t think the statement holds for every body and in any situation. While individuals are very different, their behavior is complicated. Therefore we can not categorize their behavior easily. According to the two examples of my personal experience and my friend story I think it is the person who choose to bend in front of social forces or to behave themselves.

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ESSAY REVIEW

You should probably take another stab at writing this essay because your interpretation of the prompt does not seem to be correct. You interpret the prompt to say “People’s behavior is largely determined by forces; people’s behavior is not of their own making.” The correct interpretation is “People’s behavior is largely determined by the kinds of forces that they themselves do not make.” You need, then, to identify specific forces (cultural, familial, educational, biological and so on) that might be held to determine behavior and explain why you think they are more important or less important than the possible freedom of people to act in accord with their own will.

Your essay also has many elementary language errors. You should devote as much time as you can to addressing that problem before taking the GRE test.

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: Hani
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Comments
Hani
+1

Thanks for your comment, but if you can address my language errors in my writing i do appreciate your help.
June,03 2012

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