Post your essay. Get expert feedback. For free.We're trying to help students improve their writing the hard way. Do you know students who want critical essay reviews from a professor of English Literature? Click like to share. Click here to sign up and post your own essay. We offer no paid services. All reviews are completely free.
How A Leader Should Be - With A Free Essay Review
How A Leader Should Be
Today we're facing some those kind of problems which can only be solved by a determined person.Its a general notion that in Pakistan there's no sort of leadership present, and if there's something like leadership present then its not discharging its responsibilities as it should do!
Yesterday, when my father came back from his workplace he was looking extremely weary, depressed and contemptuous.Seeing him in such a bad condition, my Mom asked him that what the problem actually is! He just began to shout out loud on our leadership.
Having ascendancy on something but no sense that how to utilize it,is nothing more than a donkey burdened with books.How a leader should be? and what kind of qualities should be in him/her? According to a sensible person a leading chap should be dominant in his mind level, if he's dominant in mind set then he can also be considered as a dominant leader.
Secondly,a leader should be responsible,honest,and reliable.If he's responsible then he automatically becomes honest and if he's honest then people surely consider him reliable.
A leader must be truthful and stout.If a leader doesn't have these two qualities then he's not able to become a leader.Capableness and remarkability come to only those people who do hard work for them.
Its a very loathsome thing that we're living in such a time when there's no "leadership-deserving" person present! If we go back into history...not so far....just some centuries back,then we would find dominant people who really deserved to be called a leader,who never regretted any person who came for any help...who used to wander about all the night,checking if there's someone famished and even for knowing that what do people actually think about them!
This is how a leader should be! Its something which can be accessed,but if only when ...when a leader himself realize that has got a big responsibility of all of his nation...and according to me its a leader's job to do so.
Is this essay intended to be a discussions of the proper nature of leadership, or is it a critique of the present age, or of Pakistan in the present age? If it's the latter, then I think you are right in sensing that you need something more than the assertions in the first paragraph in order to demonstrate and clarify the nature of the problem, but your second paragraph doesn't work in this respect. There is no reason to assume that a reader with an interest in hearing about the leadership crisis in Pakistan will also be interested in hearing about how the problem upsets your father. It would be better to give a specific example of situations in which leadership has been lacking.
I don't really understand what you are trying to say in the first sentence of the third paragraph, and don't quite see what it has to do with anything else in the essay. The rest of that paragraph essentially says that a leader should have a dominant mind. That's not enough for a paragraph, and the meaning in any case is unclear. So explain what it means to be "dominant in mind" and then explain the link between that and one's being a dominant leader.
In your next paragraph, too, you need to develop your claims. It doesn't go without saying that being responsible entails being honest or that being honest entails being considered reliable. It also doesn't go without saying that these three things are necessary elements of leadership. So you need an argument. You might go about creating such an argument by explaining what it is a leader needs to do or achieve and on that basis determine what qualities such a leader would need to possess.
The same problem occurs in the next paragraph. Note that the second sentence of that paragraph ("If a leader doesn't have these two qualities then he's not able to become a leader") doesn't explain or justify the first sentence. In truth, it only repeats the first sentence. The last sentence seems tangential and out of place.
The penultimate paragraph does nothing to advance your discussion of the nature of leadership. Although it still does not clarify the nature of the crisis in leadership which you began by discussing, if you want to keep this paragraph, I think it belongs with that initial discussion in the introduction. You might then be able to give your essay a more obvious logical structure:
Part 1. We have a problem: leadership crisis.
Part 2: To begin to address this problem we must understand what makes a great leader.
Part 3. We should seek out those who possess these qualities to be our leaders.
Part 1, in others words, would be an introduction to the problem; the main part of the essay, part 2, would be your elucidation of what a leader is, or what leadership is; and, part 3, would be a conclusion (and perhaps you can think of one less banal than the one I suggest here).