Post your essay. Get expert feedback. For free.We're trying to help students improve their writing the hard way. Do you know students who want critical essay reviews from a professor of English Literature? Click like to share. Click here to sign up and post your own essay. We offer no paid services. All reviews are completely free.
Good Methods Of Relaxing After School Semester And Why Are They Important - With A Free Essay Review
Lot college students are holding jobs now in order to pay for college or to survive financially while in school. It is a much higher chance that a student with a job will be more stressed than a student without a job. Now the semester is ending. For some people, itís time to make extra money. Some people are going on a vacation. What anyone decides to do make sure to have a good time doing it and relax. As the semester ends, hanging out with friends, planning a vacation or picking up a hobby are some good relaxing methods and is essential.
One way to chill out and relax is just hang out with friend. Find an activity to do together. Going to the movies is a fun thing to do with them. Itís also the lease expensive. Hanging out with friends gives an opportunity to unwind. Having the support from friends is needful. It can improve your health and also increase your life span. It gives him or her someone to vent everything that stresses the person out. Going shopping with friend is another activity to do. It is also the most expensive. It gives him or her insight on oneís personality.
Another way to relax is to take a vacation. It is the most expensive. It helps a person to get away from the stress around them daily. There are plenty of vacation spots around the world. Some are affordable such as take a trip to see a distant family member. On doing so, take a different route to see new sights. Go to a park. There are many different types of parks such as, Amusement Parks, Theme Parks, Waterparks, and Zoos. The least expensive is the zoo. Depending on his or her preference one could have an exciting time there.
In addition, pick up a hobby. Exercising is a good hobby. It will help a person health and fitness next semester. It also helps the body to relax as well as rid the body of toxins faster. Read a book or magazine that is interesting. Reading is one of the most constructive hobbies a person can have. It will keep the mind sharp and ready for next semester. Watch your favorite television show. TV plays an important role in our daily lives. In fact it is one of my favorite hobbies.
In conclusion, it is very important to relax as much as possible. Most of us is tied up with school or work maybe both and it is very stressful. Being relaxed can put you in a better mood. It can also help you to think more clearly and solve difficult problems easier. If time presents itself between semesters, relax and have fun. College only gets harder as you progress through. You are going to need the relaxation between.
Your essay makes a lot of unsupported claims and presents them as fact. For example, you say in your second sentence that there is "a much higher chance that a student with a job will be more stressed than a student without a job." I have no idea if this is true. I suspect that there are many students who do not have a job that are "stressed" (that's a vague term) because they do not have the money to make ends meet. Doing research to support the claims made in your essay is perhaps not required by your assignment, but you can avoid making unsupported claims by weakening your claims. For instance you can stick a phrase like "it seems reasonable to assume" onto your claim to weaken it. The idea of weakening claims may seem odd to you, but the weaker a claim, the less evidence is needed to support it, and the less objectionable your reader will find it. For another example, look at my sentence above where instead of saying "many students who don't have a job are stressed," I say "I suspect that many students who don't have a job are stressed." Iím not really claiming very much there, and I cannot claim very much because Iíve not researched the subject, but the claim is good enough to question the original claim.
Now the most important claim in your essay is the general claim about the importance of relaxing between semesters. Doing this, you say, is "essential." You add, in your second paragraph, that "having ... support from friends [as a way of relaxing]... can improve your health and also increase your lifespan." That's a fairly strong assertion. You can solve the problem that it is unsupported by sticking in a weasel word (e.g., "possibly" or "perhaps") before "improve" or, since no one likes weasels, in this one case you might be willing to do just a little bit of research into the link between stress or relaxation and health. You could probably do that in less time than it takes to read this review. Since the main point of your paper is that relaxation is important, it is surely worth putting a little work into proving that point.
As for the advice that you offer, I have not much to say about it, except perhaps that you are not really coming up with anything here that is very novel. The advice seems pretty generic so that the essay ends up rather like a list of things that one can do that are not related to work or study. So why not tell the reader something they might not already know? Try to make the advice a little more interesting and unusual. And if you want to stick with the generic stuff (like "read a book") make it more specific and personal (what books are relaxing to read, and where should I read them?).
There are a lot of errors in the essay, so although relaxing is important, you might want to spend some of the summer undertaking a systematic review of English Grammar. It would not prove an especially onerous undertaking; you might even do it on your ipad at the beach, if you have an ipad and a beach. Many of the errors in the essay, however, are not grammatical errors, but errors in usage, which is one of those problems that is difficult to tackle directly. A summer of reading would help!