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Coping - With A Free Essay Review



Who is he with? What is the other woman like? When will I see him? Is he happier now? Will my mom ever be happy again?

This whole ordeal, fortunately, is the most emotional pain I have experienced. I am unfamiliar with this type of aching, however, and prove wary in dealing with it. Do I talk to somebody? That certainly seems undesirable. Most of my friends do not know, because acknowledging and talking about my feelings repulses me, and I don’t want to seem selfish or desperate for attention. Do I avoid it? Do I bottle it up and learn to deal with this mass of emotions churning inside me?

This is my current strategy, and perhaps it is not as awful of an idea as it sounds. I prevent my mom, older siblings, and friends from witnessing any pain, and I can be comforted in nobody knowing.

Maybe this method is not advised. But for now and for me, it works. I am causing no danger to others or myself, and am leading a normal life. Of course, not everybody should adopt my approach. Everyone is an individual who may deal with issues in their own unique way. Maybe Dr. Phil will always condemn my system, but for now and for me it works.

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ESSAY REVIEW

The whole essay is very vague. It speaks obliquely about an event that has caused emotional difficulty, speaks vaguely of the nature of that difficulty, and speaks vaguely too of the "strategy" of "bottling up" used to deal with that difficulty.

On the one hand, that vagueness seems like a significant weakness in the essay, since personal essays of this kind are supposed to describe events and their consequences with clarity and specificity. The problem is exacerbated by hackneyed formulations: "mass of emotions churning inside me," "Do I bottle it up and learn to deal with it... ?" Typically, an essay should describe the experience concretely, identify the emotions, and concretely explain what it is like experiencing those emotions. Your essay does very little of that. I don't think a vague essay can be a good essay, so there is definitely a problem here that needs to be solved, but it's not as easy to solve as it might seem.

For, on the other hand, you are writing an essay about bottling up, which seems like a perfectly fine topic for an essay, but the essay itself would not an example of the "strategy" to which you refer if you wrote it the way one is expected to write an essay (again, with clarity, with specificity). In that case it would not be an example of bottling up, but of opening up, even if only more or less anonymously to the world, or to a teacher. Up to a point, the reticence is appropriate.

One way to solve this problem (writing an essay about something you can perhaps not write about without contradiction) might be to reflect in the essay on the act of writing the essay. There are two possible ways to do this. You can apologize for the essay (i.e., the essay becomes in part an apology for its own refusal to clarify the things of which it speaks, and part of the value of the essay will be its reflection on its own inadequacy as an account of coping with emotional pain). Or you can actually say more than you apparently want to, be more specific, more revealing, and then reflect on how the essay has allowed you, or forced you, to do something you have not done before, and on what the consequences of that are.

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: Leanne
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