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TOEFL Writing: Go Back To The Past - With A Response



Task: If you could go back to some time and place in the past, when and where would you go? Why? Use specific details and reasons to support your choice.

If sometime I would be able to travel through the time and go to the past, I would rather to go to the time when I was in university. That time I was an undergraduate computer science student. That 4 year period could have had a great influence on my life, but I didn't use it efficiently.

In my undergraduate degree, I have a lot of time to study. Although I had a remarkable desire to read and study, I didn't find my track to be a specialist in computer science. Now I see if I have studied more about Data Mining, now I would be a great professor in my country.

On the other hand, most of my time was spent on unimportant and worthless jobs, while I could spend those valuable minutes on learning English as a second language. Therefore I would be able to learn more about my interesting subjects and find my right way.

Finally, I have had many persevering friends. Each of them knew a kind of art such as playing guitar, dancing, painting, etc. That time I was not interested in these arts. But now I think they are exciting jobs that make me feel relaxed and satisfied with myself. Going back to that time, I could learn these arts from my friends and practice with them to be skillful in these arts.

If I have a chance to go back to some times in the past, the best time is when I could change my mind to make a better life. It has been the undergraduate period when I have a lot of energy as well as my friends.

_____________________________________________________

RESPONSE:

What you need to improve above all else is your knowledge of English verb tenses. We don't provide this kind of help, but there are many online resources that you can use to help you improve your English grammar. You need to learn, in particular, the English past perfect. See the wikipedia page below for a general overview of this tense (usually called the pluperfect) in several languages. See the OWL (Purdue) page for a brief introduction to English verb tenses.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/601/01/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluperfect

Best, EJ.
Submitted by: mehdi_mka
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