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KAUST Scholarship Essay - With A Free Essay Review



Othman Lukman A,

Scholarship Essay

KAUST – ME

Degree Objective: MS. ME

I would like to be a leader in the field of renewable (alternative) energy. Energy which comes from natural sources such as sunlight, wind, rain, geothermal heat, biomass, which are renewable are known as Renewable Energy. The use of alternative energy is dated back to more than 150 years. In fact any new fuel, discovered is alternative to the old ones at some period of time. For example, from wood in the Middle Ages to Petroleum in the 19th century. Inspite of the time-lag difference, there common features are: they are rapidly diminishing and secondly, causing devastation to our environment. In order to stop these problems, modern alternative sources of energy that are constantly replenishable and eco-friendly for both humans and environment was discovered. Today, most of the renewable energy sources are used for electricity generation, transportation, industrial purposes and space heating, mostly in our homes. For over three decades, the successes recorded in this field as a result of constant development made through science and technology, it is logical to expect even more renewable energy source in years to come, as well as the highly improved efficiency of existing one. My objective for graduate study is to collaborate with KAUST faculty on research projects in the area of renewable energy such as solar and water. Sustainable energy future can be only be done with the help of renewable energy sources and this really is the main advantage of these energy sources have ever fossil fuels. Nigeria is a developing country with enormous renewable energy sources such as sun, water, wind, biomass and geothermal sources. Despite all these abundant natural resources, most of rural communities in Nigeria are without electricity, while for those that have electricity, it is epileptic. There is the need to solve the energy problem being faced by these vast populations. Research in the area of alternative energy sources is inevitable. I want to be study Thermal Science because I would like to apply the knowledge from my previous courses, in addition to courses at KAUST and researches on the same courses to improve the lives of my people in the area of electricity and other energy uses such as in cooking, home heating. Furthermore, I believe I can utilize my intellectual richness to enhance the quality of life of Thuwal community and support the advancement of alternative energy research in KAUST and the kingdom.

Strengths that I will bring into my abroad study include previous alternative energy experience, academic preparation, and personal qualities. All these traits have prepared me for the expectation of your program. My objective for graduate school is to combine rigorous academic study with hands-on-experience, and I believe that KAUST offer extra-ordinary opportunities endeavours. Lastly, if I am given an opportunity to be part of that intellectual stimulating environment, I am sure my talent will put to optimal use. Hence, I am looking forward to receiving graduate study at KAUST.

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ESSAY REVIEW

An essay like this should be taken as an opportunity (I assume) to reveal as much as possible about you that is relevant to determining how well prepared you are for the course of study you propose to follow. Most of the first paragraph contributes very little, however, to the reader's understanding of how well prepared you are. You seem to want, in that paragraph, to give a brief lesson on the importance of renewable energy, but that's all common knowledge and, as far as I can tell, just getting in the way of your accomplishing here what you need to accomplish. My suggestion would be that you delete the whole paragraph, with the possible exception of the last sentence, which would be a reasonable sentence with which to begin your essay (by "water," do you mean "hydroelectric power"?)

Your second paragraph, by contrast, is much more to the point (in my view), and if anything could be elaborated. Your sentence about why you want to study thermal science is a bit vague, for instance, and that seems like it might be one of the more important sentences in your essay. The sentence is worded very poorly, so it needs revision in any case. If you want to reveal that you've taken relevant coursework, do that in a different sentence. Here, focus on explaining why you want to study thermal science. You say it will help you help others, but you can presumably be more specific about how you think your proposed course of study could be applied in Nigeria. In your final paragraph, I would suggest clarifying the nature of your academic preparation and experience in alternative energy. If you also want to mention "personal qualities," then you really need to specify what they are.

Best, EJ.

P.S., proofread, and check the meaning of “epileptic”
Submitted by: Aladunimi
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